Theatre productions to incorporate social distancing on stage when West End returns

In a display of solidarity, a number of West End productions have announced plans to incorporate social distancing on stage when theatres reopen their doors following the COVID-19 pandemic.

To help flatten the curve of the pandemic, people have been asked to stay at home, in order to slow the spread of the virus, and therefore relieve the strain on healthcare systems. These measures have included the closure of theatres across the world, including in London's West End.

However, to show support and gratitude for people's efforts during these months, shows have vowed to incorporate social distancing measures within their stories when West End theatres reopen their doors.

Specific plans for shows include:

- In The Book of Mormon, the missionaries will communicate with the Ugandan village via Zoom meetings.
- In The Phantom of the Opera, the Phantom's mask will be replaced with a more clinically-protective face mask.
- In Hairspray, the first episode of The Corny Collins show will be a special edition recorded at home, live-streamed on Instagram.
- In Matilda, the children of Crunchem Hall Elementary School will be home-schooled.
- The cast of Six will remain 6 feet apart from each other at all times.
- In Come From Away, the cod will be sanitised for 20 seconds after each time it is kissed.
- Dolly Parton's headline song will be rewritten, and now called Working (From Home) 9 to 5.

Producers have indicated these changes in performance could last until at least 1^st April.

EDIT: As you may have guessed, this is our April Fool's joke, which we hope brought a smile during these tough times.