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'The Real Ones' review — Waleed Akhtar’s new play is a bittersweet love letter to platonic friendship

Read our review of The Real Ones, starring Mariam Haque and Nathaniel Curtis, now in performances at the Bush Theatre to 26 October.

Aliya Al-Hassan
Aliya Al-Hassan

Funny, heartfelt and brutally honest, The Real Ones reunites writer Waleed Akhtar and director Anthony Simpson Pike after their Olivier Award-winning success with the brilliant The P Word in 2022.

Akhtar based The P Word on gay love; here he explores the love between friends and the poignant reality that every friendship has a natural end, even if we do not immediately recognise it.

There is a neat universality in the idea that many of us have had a friend who was incredibly special to us. One day they are the centre of your world, then life intervenes. Akhtar also gives us a dexterous examination of the strict expectations of some Asian families and the challenges of being able to love who you want.

We meet Zaid and Neelam aged 19: best friends from Muslim Pakistani backgrounds, having fun and getting off their faces without their parents’ knowledge. They dream of success together as playwrights, escaping their everyday lives and being true to themselves. Over the next 17 years, the reality becomes somewhat different and life events challenge their previous closeness.

As besties Neelam and Zaid, Mariam Haque and Nathaniel Curtis are both excellent throughout, with an instinctive and easy chemistry. There is a really natural authenticity to their dialogue as they laugh, argue and confide in each other.

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Curtis is incredibly likeable as Zaid, slightly lost as he tries to resolve his own questions about his sexuality and if his ambitions to write will ever come to fruition. Haque is more direct, almost prickly, as a youthfully rebellious Neelam, who subtly softens her accent as she gets older, finds a good job and starts a family.

Nnabiko Ejimofor is thoughtfully intelligent as Neelam’s eventual husband Deji and Anthony Howell is suitably privileged, albeit a little quiet, as Zaid’s older boyfriend Jeremy.

However, the story should belong to Neelam and Zaid. Scenes with their partners provide important context for their changing lives, but too many are distractions from the focal point of their own changing relationship.

Therein lies the only real flaw in this play. At close to two hours straight through, it needs some editing to maintain the sharpness and focus of the story, as there is a tendency towards repetition and some meandering subplots.

The design keeps our focus on the actors. Anisha Fields’ sparse set consists of a blue-carpeted, sunken circle around and in which all the action takes place. This works well with Simpson Pike’s deft direction which plays to the audience on three sides. However, sight-lines are sometimes compromised when characters sit or lay on the floor. The rapid series of scenes is punctuated by Christopher Nairne’s brightly flashing lighting.

Akhtar is certainly a writing talent to watch. The Real Ones may be slightly overlong, but its bittersweet taste will stay with you.

The Real Ones is at the Bush Theatre through 26 October. Book The Real Ones tickets on London Theatre.

Photo credit: The Real Ones (Photographs by Helen Murray)

Originally published on

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